How Do I Love?
by hitori.no.boku
Summary: Anna’s never felt love, never felt the hot caress, the lingering touch. How is she supposed to know what love is, much less love someone else? Seeing her predicament, fate decides to intervene. Soaps have never been handier.
1. Chapter 1

--

How Do I Love?

_"Speech"_

_'Thoughts'_

Disclaimer: Never owned 'Shaman King'. Just playing around with the characters for awhile…

--

Anna's never felt love, never felt the hot caress, the lingering touch. How is she supposed to know what love is, much less love someone else? Seeing her predicaments, fate decides to intervene. Soaps have never been handier.

--

Rays of red and orange light began to taint the once dark skies. Like paint, it inked its way into the solid wall of darkness, casting its pastel of colors across the sky. The winking streams of light inched their way past the shadows of the trees, reflected off the waters and sparkled in the slowly fading unlit blackness of the sky.

Morning had come.

And with it a new set of problems for one Kyouyama Anna.

"_Do you love my grandson?"_

It had all started with those words. Those crushing, daring, inciting words had caused her mind to spin horribly out of control.

Anna blinked, her eyes flickering before focusing on the old woman across from her. Her mouth opened and for a moment it she found it hard to speak, mouth suddenly dry. She licked her lips, warm tongue caressing the edges of soft, pink flesh.

"_What do you mean Kino-sensei?"_

The old woman shifted, expression obscured by the shadows playing across her face. Her fingers folding gently on her lap and twisted around one another, curling together to form a perfect triangle.

"_I mean, are you in love with my grandson?"_

A slight haze of light beamed through the window, flashing directly across Anna. It struck her blonde hair, slinking past the cover of her red bandana. Outlining her smooth jaw, it curved down, casting its shine upon the rapidly moving throat of the itako.

She swallowed, grasping her nerve as she grasped at what to say. Anna's grip tightened around the teacup in her hand, threatening to shatter it into pieces. The liquid rippled, stirred by the jerking of her fingers. She swallowed, trying to drown away the unwelcome feeling now blooming in her chest. Not trusting her own voice, she settled for a small, decisive statement.

"_Yes, I love him."_

Her response was met by a slight chuckle. Kino laughed, her worn and raspy voice coming out into the open.

"_My poor, poor Anna. I didn't ask you if you loved Yoh. I asked if you were __**in**__ love with him."_

She looked up, confusion clearly written across her face.

"_I…I don't understand."_

Her sensei just chuckled again. The old woman then paused in her explanation, tilting the teacup slightly to taste the beverage. The conversation had stopped completely and left Anna to stew over her own thoughts and emotions.

Inwardly, she screamed out in frustration.

'_Damn it! Why is this so hard?'_

When Kino-sensei had unexpectedly called to the house and beckoned to her to come to Izumo as quickly as possible, this was not what she had been imagining. A matter of grave importance, her mentor had called it, one that concerned the future. And when she had shown up at the doors of the Asakura compound, the last thing she had wanted to talk about was her love life. The last thing she was expecting was her love of Yoh to come into question. Her love was unquestionable. She loved him.

Right?

And what was all this about love and being **in **love? Was there a difference?

She opened her mouth to speak, the question tilting precariously on her lips.

_"Kino-sensei, I…"_

The voice of her mentor stalled any attempts at speech. As the old woman place her cup down, Anna was forced into silence.

"_My dear Anna, what a fearless itako you are. You have accomplished and learned much in life. But…there is something you have yet to learn."_

There was silence and Anna opened her mouth to speak, the question so eager to let loose from the confines of her mind. Kino-sensei stalled her again.

"_No, do not ask that question Anna. I want you to figure this out by yourself. I can tell your heart years…years for the truth…"_

The old woman stood, her robes swishing across the tatami mat floor.

"…_You must find the answer within…"_

She turned, sliding open the shoji door with a sharp clack before stepping across the wooden threshold.

"…_You owe yourself that much."_

The door closed with a soft click and Anna was left alone. Her blonde hair swished idly in the silence, the only sound the soft breathing of her prone, kneeling form. Her mind churned, thoughts passing by at light speed. But one thought was predominate and it stuck out like a sore thumb, feeding off Anna's inner turmoil.

_'What is…love?'_

--

_'How do I love…?'_

The sweat gleamed off his brow, dripping across his face. His eyes were closed, creases etched into his brow.

_'How can I love her…?'_

The morning sun pierced his body, radiating light across his sweat-drenched skin. His muscles rippled, stretching and flexing as he dashed among the training dummies.

_'How can I show her…?'_

The blade in his hand shot forward, streaming through wood and metal. His fingers curled around the ray-skin covered hilt, bringing it across his body. Another clean cut.

_'…That I love her…?'_

The training dummies struck back, amassing to assault. He flipped back gracefully, his blade already infused with copious amounts of furyoku.

'…_Anna…'_

He weaved around training tools, his body carrying him through wave of attacks. His blade flashed blue and silver. He sidestepped, his eyes still closed and with a twirl he brought his blade down, slicing lazily through the last dummy. Silence. He stood still, sweat sliding down his face, his body. His muscles lost their tension and his bare chest heaved in and out, breath rapidly steadying itself.

Hitting the floor, Yoh sighed, the blade in his hand clattering noisily to the wooden deck, bluish hue of furyoku fading quickly. He leant back, head coming to rest on the soft fabric of his clothing.

_"Yoh-dono!"_

His eyes opened, chocolate brown irises staring into the body of his spirit companion. Sighing, Yoh raised his hand, motioning for the spirit to sit next to him. The spirit glided forward, a questioning look in his soft eyes. As he positioned himself near Yoh, the spirit asked softly.

_"Yoh-dono…is something wrong?"_

The young man raised his head, propping it up on his arm and stared at the ceiling.

_"No Amidamaru…not really…it's just…"_

The samurai-spirit waited, his lavender tinted hair shifting atop his head. He watched Yoh's face, noting the inner turmoil that was so clearly written there. He watched Yoh turn; his brown eyes staring into his own coal black ones.

_"Have you…ever been in love before?"_

The spirit was silent, his head tilting thoughtfully.

_"Ahh…So…this is what's on your mind. May I ask…if it has to do with Anna-san?"_

Amidamaru heard Yoh sigh, a long drawn out breath escaping from the depths of his body. There was a pregnant pause.

_"Yeah…it's about Anna…you know I…"_

Yoh stopped again, struggling to find the right words. The hovering spirit next to him waited patiently, hands folded in the creases of his clothing. The teen sat up, a hand passing through his coffee colored hair. Why was this so hard?

_"I love her…"_

His hands twisted around one another.

_"I've loved her since we met…"_

The spirit watched Yoh and could feel the swirling chaos flowing through his heart.

_"I'll love her until I die…"_

His face folded into a frown.

"_But…she doesn't know it… She…refuses to believe it… I love her…and I can't figure out how to tell her…"_

The teen heaved a heavy sigh, his eyes closing in frustration.

"_I just don't know what to do Amidamaru…"_

The spirit, nodded, one hand coming sliding out to reassure his companion.

_"Yoh-dono, I think that if-"_

The door slammed open.

_"Yoh!"_

Guardian spirit and Shaman turned, eyes swiveling to the open doorway. Yoh's father stood there, a hand waving in a small greeting. The mask around his face was a different color today, light beige instead of dark brown.

"_We're going shopping. You're coming with us alright?"_

He waited for a response. Seeing Yoh's nod, he took it as an affirmative and shifted away.

_"Alright then, meet at the compound entrance pretty soon…"_

With that, Mikihisa turned and left, baggy pants swishing as he walked.

The two companions looked at each other. Yoh shrugged, getting up as he dusted himself off. Sheathing Harusame he muttered under his breath.

_"We'll talk about it later…okay Amidamaru?"_

The spirit bowed slightly, hair shining in the light.

"_Of course Yoh-dono. Shall we leave?"_

The brown haired teen nodded, feet carrying him, across the dojo floor, his spirit hovering behind him the whole way. After a few moments the door shut with a soft click and the two disappeared down the hallway.

_--_

They stood in the center of town, three figures walking (and one gliding) calmly down the street. Yoh was a bit behind them, conversing in quiet, hushed tones with his guardian spirit. Anna looked back, a disgruntled look on her face. There was no reaction from either of them. Huffing in annoyance she turned around.

_'Damn it Yoh…can you at least pay some attention to me…'_

She kept walking, ignoring the older man keeping pace with her. She fingered her beads, mind drifting to her current predicament.

_"You know…some things have a lot to do with love…"_

She looked up, wide-eyed at Yoh's father. She stared at him, trying to see an expression through the mask that adorned the older man's face. He kept talking.

_"You know…like helping people to love…that kind of thing…"_

His distorted voice was left hanging in the air. Anna's eyes narrowed and she focused her most intense glare upon the older man, willing him to burst into flames.

_"What…are you talking about?"_

The man just shrugged, his gaze still trained forward.

_'What does he know?'_

She couldn't tell.

Mikihisa shoved his hands in his pockets and looked off down the street, eyes fixing on the sign of a store. As he turned away, his muffled whisper met Anna's ears.

"_Sometimes…you just have to look around."_

He drifted down the street, soon lost in the crowd. Anna's eyes shot back and forth; looking for what Mikihisa had been looking at. Her eyes caught the sign and she quirked an eyebrow.

_'A…video store?'_

--

The lady eyes her like prey, elbows propped up on the table. It was the look all sales people gave a potential customer. Anna approached with caution and anxiety. How was she supposed to phrase this? She stopped. The clerked looked at her expectantly. She waited and then spoke.

_"Do you have anything…about love?"_

The clerk's eyes lit up.

"_Of __**course**__ dear, here, let me show you!"_

She began to walk through the store, toward the far wall. She motioned with her hand.

"_**This**__ is all dedicated to love. Whether you like sappy and fluffy, angst and danger, or just plain…uhmm…romance, it's all here."_

Anna turned to the shelves and shelves full of footage, dvd's and cd's. She dismissed the clerk with a wave of her hand and approached the nearest shelf. Her eyes locked on the caption on the ledge.

Soap Opera.

This! This was supposed to show her how to love?

Anna picked up the disc case, fingers sliding across the edge. A soap opera? She almost laughed. A soap opera was supposed to show her what love was. The idea in itself was complete nonsense. She turned, heel spinning on the wood floor. As she curved, she saw Yoh's questioning glance, a brief look of concern flashing over his cheerful features. He was across the way, situated near the music, hand hovering over the selection of cd's. He was staring. That was all it took. Anna hesitated.

_'I…I have to learn how to love…'_

Her fingers brushed tentatively across the cover again. She glanced back at Yoh. He was already immersed in the music, lost in the beats and rhythms, headphones slung firmly over his ears. She let out a dejected sigh. Could she…? Her gaze fell back to the soap opera, eyes flitting over the cover, one that depicted a loving couple holding each other in an eternal embrace.

She gazed at the cover for a few more minutes, seemingly lost in a trance, dark eyes glazed over in thought.

_'Yoh…'_

Her eyes traveled to the teen. Lithe, muscular body. Silky brown hair. Charming features. Deep chocolate colored eyes. Perfect. She felt the warmth in her chest, the bubbly feeling well up in the depths of her body.

_'No…not now…not…with Yoh here…'_

Anna flushed, tearing her gaze away from the young man. She was painfully aware of the loud beating of her heart, the symbol of love thumping hard against her ribcage. She tried to calm herself, tried to focus on something else. Something besides Yoh. Her fingers tightened around the disc case and her resolve steeled.

_'Love…'_

Maybe she'd give it a try.

--

AN: My first 'Shaman King' fic…give me some feedback…were the characters OC…?

--


	2. Chapter 2

--

How Do I Love?

"_Speech"_

'_Thoughts'_

Disclaimer: Never owned 'Shaman King'. Just playing around with the characters for awhile…

--

Blazing red and yellow hung high in the sky, beams of light touching down on the surface of earth. The sun held its throne, the scorching ball of heat casting its power onto the world. It was intense, the temperature causing the surroundings to shimmer, everything suddenly taking the guise of a mirage. The only reprise was the air, the skies having mercy on the people, sending its gift in the form of a cool breeze.

The wind ruffled through brown locks of hair, brushing past orange colored headphones, carrying the leaking tune into the air. Yoh sighed, staring up into the sky. His eyes fixed on the sun and his hand rose to shade his delicate pupils.

'_It looks kind of like an orange…'_

Yoh's head cocked, halfhearted bangs and spikes shifting in his movement. He was outside, his chores of the day had long been finished, training having just ended. His lithe form was lying on the wooden deck of En Inn, shirt off as sweat trickled down his bare chest, glistening in the sunlight. Well toned biceps strained in the air as he stretched languidly, a contented sigh slipping from his lips.

'…_One really __**big**__ orange.'_

His brown eyes wandered, straying away from the sun and taking in the cloudless skies. Coffee colored irises caught the sheen of the sunlight reflecting off the Inn's highly polished windows, blinding him for a moment. As his head turned away, he glimpsed a shadow in the hallway, something walking down the freshly cleaned wooden floors. Blinking, he looked again, but saw nothing. Shaking his head, he brushed it off as his imagination, the heat of the day finally getting to his head.

The breeze wafted through his hair again, blowing his stray spikes and locks around, splaying them all over the floor, haphazardly around his head. This was the life, a cool breeze, contented warmth upon his skin and the uncomfortable weight of chores on his mind gone. Training was over for the day, he wouldn't have to start cooking for another few hours and it was peaceful. The symphony of birds chirping combined with the heat and the tickling breeze had almost lulled him to sleep. Come to think of it…something was missing.

Yoh was still for a moment, silently pondering.

'Hmm…there's still a breeze…the sun is still out…the birds…that's what stopped. But why would they stop, u-'

"_Slacking off again Yoh?"_

Anna's condescending voice floated down to his ears. Yoh closed his eyes, holding in a sigh.

'_Damn'_, he thought, _'I should have known…so much for a peaceful afternoon.'_

Waiting a moment, his eyelids cracked open, revealing his weary brown eyes. He looked up, staring into the blonde itako's eyes.

"_No, Anna, I'm done with everything, so I'm just taking a little break."_ His voice snaked into the air.

Anna stamped impatiently, her bare foot smacking against the wood floor. The wind blew through again, sending her red bandanna and blonde tresses swirling.

"_Oh really Yoh?"_ she said, her voice like ice_. "If you're finished with everything, how come dinner isn't being cooked? Right. This. Instant."_ The edge in her tone was unreal and for a split second, it made Yoh shiver. His eyes traveled across her face. Damn was she angry…but that face…way she looked when she was mad…

His gaze lingered a bit too long and before he knew it Anna's foot had implanted itself onto his chest.

"_What do you think you're looking at Yoh?"_ There it was, that frosty quality in her voice. _"And why haven't you moved yet? Dinner is waiting and I'm getting hungry." _She glared at him, her foot digging into his chest.

Yoh cringed as her heel slipped and burrowed into his rib cage. _"But, you sai-"_ He was quickly silenced as Anna kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

"_No buts Yoh!"_ she whispered dangerously. "_I want an early dinner tonight! I don't have for you to loaf around all the time. Heaven knows you already do it constantly."_ Her voice was rising now and Yoh cringed.

"_Get to work Yoh, I have th-things to do."_ She stuttered, her voice jumping slightly. She tried to cover it up, chain it to another sentence, but Yoh beat her to it. He noticed her slip and his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"_Things?"_ he asked, his voice full of wonder. He could have sworn he'd seen a light pink blush settle on Anna's face. But in a second it was gone, replaced by her cold demeanor. Her voice swelled, tone promising pain of death should he question her further.

"_Yes Yoh, things, which don't concern you."_ She lifted her foot, arms crossing over her chest. _"Now get moving. I expect dinner to be done in less than two hours, no excuses! Understand?" _It was a rhetorical question. He damn well understood and she knew it.

The young shaman stood wearily, his joints creaking in irritation as he did. With a 'humph', Anna walked away, feet carrying her into the hallway and toward the doorway to the inn. He watched her leave, his eyes traveling from her bare feet, eyeing her black dress swaying over shapely legs. For a moment he forgot about Anna's cold visage and just watched. Smooth legs, reaching far, connecting with knees that led up toward round, se-Yoh shook himself.

'_This is Anna…ANNA! If she finds out…she'll kill me.'_ He looked back at her, just to make sure she hadn't turned around and breathed a sigh of relief as she disappeared into the inn. _'I shouldn't be doing that…but…those curves…her body…' _

Yoh's thoughts carried him through the doorway and into the kitchen. His mind wandered, focusing on Anna…her curves, how they melded perfectly with her body, that dress…sticking to every single part of her body, almost like a second skin. The looks she gave him when she was mad…her fiery temper…how…desiring she looked at moments like those. Images of her flawless picture embedded in his mind, playing over and over again.

'_Oh god…'_ he though, _'Anna is perfect…'_

And with thoughts of her in his head, mixed with stray visions of them…together, Yoh set to work making dinner.

--

Anna slammed the door, her face flushed and red.

'_My god…'_

The images flashed through her mind. Yoh. Shirtless. The sinew and muscle rippling barely beneath his skin. The sweat that glistened over his biceps, the straining of his shoulders, the outline of his abs.

'…_Yoh's perfect.'_

She sank down on the couch, black dress hiking up around her thighs. She fumbled around the corners of the soft fabric, almost giddy with excitement as she searched for the remote. It bumped into her hand and with a small grin of triumph; she pointed it to the television and flicked it on.

A title filled the screen.

'_Time to see what these soap operas are about…'_

It started quickly. Ten minutes into the show, Anna was feeling a little put out. _'This is so unimaginable…this is how to love someone? This is incredibly…sappy. Do people actually do this in real life?'_

Even disgusted as she was, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen. A few minutes later and a man and woman were on the screen, engaged in an intense lip-lock. Anna's mouth was open, her lips forming a small 'o' and her eyes wide with shock. Two people kissing…this passionately…and in public?

'_Is this…how I should treat Yoh…is this what I should act like?'_

She imagined it, thought about how it would feel to be in that woman's position. Fondled, touched, kissed. Did she want that? Did she want to act like this all the time? Even when she knew it wasn't her? Even when she knew it would all be fake?

'_I could grow to be like that…if Yoh wants me like that…if this is actually how you show love for someone."_

"_Yoh"_, she breathed.

--

Yoh carefully placed each bowl on the table.

'_This is perfect!'_ he thought, _'Anna will love this!'_

Stepping away from the table, he surveyed his work. Dozens of plates and bowls laid out all over the surface of the hard wood finish, all filled with food that he had slaved away to prepare. Everything was in its right place. Sushi, rice, tempura, sashimi, he'd made all of Anna's favorites.

Turning to the sink he turned the water on, the steady stream pouring out from the faucet. Taking his time, he slowly rinsed away all the blemishes and sticky spots from his hands. As he stepped away to dry them, he flipped the water off, grabbing a towel.

Stepping out of the kitchen, he walked down the hallways toward the sitting room.

As he neared the room he could hear Anna's voice.

"_How does he use his tongue like that…?"_ He paused, not believing what was reaching his ears. Was that Anna? What the hell?

"_So…it goes like that? Tilt and then use a little bit of tongue?"_

Yoh stopped, hands all of a sudden becoming clammy. His temperature was rising quickly. The palms of his hands were sweaty, fingers twitching in agitation. He heard a gasp from inside the room.

"_My god…that sensitive?"_

His hand glided over the side of the door, hesitating for a moment.

"_Make someone feel that way…I…use it…"_

Yoh couldn't take it anymore, and his fingers latched onto the sliding shoji door. With a yell, he wrenched it open. The door slid in its foundations.

"_Anna!"_

There she was, sitting on the couch, watching the television. Yoh's eyes flickered to the screen, where a now still image of a man and a woman kissing was shown. He felt his cheeks heat up and his gaze swiveled back to Anna, the remote that was in her hand and the small cases that were scattered around her.

"_Ummm…"_ he stalled, fumbling for words.

Anna's voice broke into him.

"_Yoh, what are you doing coming in without knocking, much less while I'm in here? Why are you bothering me Yoh?"_ Anna's voice was flat. Yoh stuttered. _"Well, I…I thought-"_

Anna glared at him. The young shaman looked at her, noticing beneath the glare there was a hint of something…odd and that there was a very faint pink tinge gracing her pale skin.

"_You thought what Yoh? You don't get paid to think! Now what is it?" _

Yoh slowly backed up, glancing at the screen once again, a questioning expression splashing his face. He glanced back to Anna, watching the expressions change on her face. She was shaking…wait…shaking? He steeled himself and took a deep breath. _'Now or never. Why not?'_

"_What are you watching Anna?"_

Silence. You could hear a feather fall in the quiet that filled the room.

"_Excuse me?"_ Anna's voice was biting.

Yoh held back a flinch.

"_What are you watching?"_

Anna stared at him, a calculating glint in her eyes.

"_Soap operas",_ she whispered. Yoh glanced the screen again, where the couple was lip-locked in place. _"Uh…alright…what are they about"_, he asked. Though in the back of his mind he had already formulated a pretty good idea concerning what these 'soap operas' contained.

Anna paused for a moment,

"_Girls…guys…pleasing them…life…love…look, Yoh, what exactly do you want?"_ Her voice was quiet.

Things had just gotten even more uncomfortable. Yoh backed up, hands in his pockets.

"_Just to…dinner's ready."_ With a twist of his heel, he was out of the room, door sliding shut behind him. Anna watched him go, for once an expression of surprise etched on her face.

'_Yoh…'_

Once outside, Yoh slid to the ground, hands balled in frustration, nails digging into his skin. He closed his eyes, trying to reign in his conflicting emotions. It was so…aggravating…he could barely stand it. They both had trouble expressing…but he was at least trying. Why couldn't she open up? Why was she so cold? Why?

'_Anna…what do I want? I want to show you I love you… Is that so hard to see?'_

--

AN: Yeah, I'm back. Six months. Nothing more to say except for…school. You know how it is. Hope you like the chapter. I encourage you to review. This chap was inspired by the great author **Kefra** who writes tons of _Shaman King_ fics and is one of the best around. Love his work. Read it. And review.

--


	3. Chapter 3

--

How Do I Love?

"_Speech"_

'_Thoughts'_

Disclaimer: Never owned 'Shaman King'. Just playing around with the characters for awhile…

--

The wind blew, stiff chill of the approaching evening streaking through the air. Trees rustled in the breeze, limbs stretching out in the dying day, casting their now dim shadows over the ground. The branches crinkled and leaves fell, drifting silently through the air, skimming the surface of hot water lightly. Crystal clear shallows rippled in their wake, small ringlets waving out in paced motions. Once glorious beams of light stretching forever, now barely reached the waters edge, the power of its glow now hidden far, far away.

The walls of the inn were silent, void of life. No laughter. No speech. And now no light. The coming evening had snuffed out the sun's rays, shadows now engulfing the entirety of the compound.

Steam from the hot springs floated above the surface of the water, silent observers to a dark night. The breeze blew by, gripping the steam and carrying it along, dispersing the hot vapor into the cold air.

A growing moon placed itself in the dark cloak of the night, silver streams reflecting off empty halls and still corridors. The breeze followed. Through halls, rooms, open doors, crack in the walls, open windows. There was sound now, a soft metallic chime echoing in the depths of the compound. The soft glimmer of light wormed its way through the tiniest of places, the cold air of the night trailing not far behind.

The light reflected off well polished silverware and bore into the dull white of porcelain, almost catching the fleeting movement of chopsticks. The cold breeze finally drifted its way into the room, chilling the two silent occupants.

--

She shivered unconsciously.

She had just sat down at the dinner table, the black fabric of her dress clinging and curling up around her slim body. The food was already assaulting her senses, the millions of different smells causing her mind to reel in shock. Inwardly she sighed in content, taking it all in. Her bowl had already been placed in front of her, heat rising from the hundreds of grains of white rice clumped together. Silently Anna brushed stray strands of blonde hair out of her eyes.

Her fingers played with the hem of the black dress molded to her body as she glanced over the various bowls and plates situated on the polished wood table. Soft, alabaster fingertips glided through the air, coming to rest on the surface of the table. She reached for a napkin and as she did, she felt it. Those soft brown eyes tracking her, watching her. Anna bit her lip, picking up the smooth wooden chopsticks placed carefully near her fingers.

He was already there, eyes boring into her. She could feel them. He'd been seated when she walked in, and ever since she had felt his gaze on her, eating her up, devouring her.

'It's not supposed to be like this…'

Her coal colored eyes stared defiantly at the wood table, glued there as if in a trance. She wouldn't raise her head. She wouldn't. She would keep her eyes cast down, or else she would see him. Or else she would see it.

'_Yoh…'_

The dead look in his eyes. That hurt expression that would flash across his face every few seconds. The pain that was present in every movement.

She couldn't. She couldn't face it.

'_I'm not supposed to be like this…'_

Part of her felt outraged. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Yoh shouldn't be making her this uncomfortable. Yoh wasn't supposed to fluster her. Yoh wasn't supposed to compel her to act like a shy schoolgirl around him. It was supposed to be the other way around! She was supposed to intimidate him. She was supposed to fluster him. She was supposed t-

'_Oh god…what am I thinking…'_

It felt so wrong. She felt so…insecure. She was supposed to be in control dammit! She was supposed to be the cool, calm and collected Anna Kyouyama! Not this… Yoh shouldn't have this effect on her…shouldn't be able to…shouldn't…

Anna's fingers curled around her chopsticks, smooth skin sliding across the wood grain. Moving quickly she traveled from dish to dish, her fingers nimbly guiding her utensils to pick out her favorites. As she passed from dish to dish, her mind finally caught up with what she was seeing.

Sashimi…tempura… She did a double take across the table and froze.

Her breath hitched and the cold air caught in her throat.

Anna's heart skipped a beat.

The chopsticks almost slipped from her soft hands.

Everything…everything…

Was her favorite.

'_Damn you Yoh…why…why…why are you doing this…?'_

Her fingers curled around the chopsticks tighter, drawing them into a death grip. Why did he…why was he doing this to her? This wasn't like him…why was he making an effort? Why was he trying…why was he trying…to make her happy?

'_Because he loves you…'_ A voice whispered in the back of her mind.

Did he really? Did he really love Anna Kyouyama, the ice-bitch? How could he? How could he love someone so cold, someone who slapped him, belittled him, tore him down, someone so…someone…like her?

'_Answer it yourself…he's here…he's making so much effort…he's trying to please you…_' That voice drifted through her thoughts again.

But why?! I've never shown him compassion…never showed him how much he means to me…never…lo-

Not far away from the turmoil that was her mind, the dinner table stood silent. Her fingers moved in autopilot, while her mind worked furiously to find a solution. Her eyes were glazed over, the gears turning in chaos, oblivious to the lithe brown eyed boy moving silently out of his chair in concern.

'_But he knows you love him…he knows you care…that's why you stay with him…'_

What if it's just his grandparent, what if I don't really love him…and I'm just staying because of their wishes…what if…it's all an act…and he doesn't really love me…what if…

'_Are you really asking yourself this Anna? Can you not realize it wouldn't matter what his grandparents wanted…can you not understand that he really loves you…?'_

Anna froze, her chopsticks half way to her mouth.

'_Loves…me?'_

She felt warm hands touch the bare skin of her shoulder. She stifled a gasp and looked up. Staring back at her were Yoh's warm brown eyes. She saw his mouth open, words on the tip of his tongue and she her mind sped into action.

"_Yoh, I-"_

--

It was all set, everything was ready. Everything was precise, down to the napkins, the plates, and the smallest grain of rice. And now all he did was wait.

Yoh seated himself, eyes wandering across the carefully…dare he say it…lovingly prepared food. Everything prepared flawlessly…just for her. His eyes swiveled away from the food in front of him. He could hear the footsteps from the hall, could hear the soft patter of her feet against the wood floor.

'_Anna…'_

He waited for her entrance, waited for the inevitable shock of beauty to walk into the room, waited for her to grace him with her presence.

And she did.

And he watched.

His eyes followed her every movement, watched her walk gracefully toward the dinner table, and watched her take it all in. His eyes trailed down her body, noting the cloth of her black dress that clung to her body a little tighter than usual, catching the way her blonde hair swished about her face, casting shadows over her sparkling black eyes.

'_Beautiful…'_

Yoh couldn't tear his eyes away, couldn't pull them away from the alluring presence. It was too much…

'_Why is she doing this to me…?'_

He watched her sit, her slender body seating itself easily…perfectly…

'_She's torturing me…'_

Yoh traced her hand with his eyes, watching her slim fingers grasp the chopsticks, watching as she picked her way through the food. He watched her as black eyes lowered, glued to the table top, and never looked up. The pain struck through his chest and it throbbed. Ached. Stung.

'_Please Anna…'_

Her head was down, like the weight of the world was cast upon her blonde tresses. It was just too much. He was desperate, desperate to see her eyes, to see her just look up…look at him…

'_Please…look at me…just once…'_

But she didn't and silence reigned over the table. Yoh still hadn't touched his food. They were Anna's favorites after all, she should get first pick at everything and anything she want-

Yoh watched Anna freeze, concern gripping him.

'_Is something wrong…is it still raw? Did I cook it wrong…is it too cold?'_

A million different thoughts raced through his mind. He watched her, wondering, wishing, and praying.

'_Anna…'_

But she moved again, seemingly snapped out of her trance, and he breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

'_At least nothing's wrong with the food…yet…'_

So he watched her, not yet taking a bite of his own food, preferring to watch Anna in the silence.

'_Please Anna…'_

He watched her, noticing her jerky movements, the distracted turn of her head. She seemed…

'_Please…just show me…show me you know…'_

Yoh got up, his chair scraping against the tile floor of the kitchen. There was still no response from Anna. He started hesitantly at first, his feet taking small steps around the dinner table. There was still no sign of acknowledgement from Anna. He reached her side in three long strides.

His hands came out, shaking slightly, fingers clenching and unclenching in agitation

'_Just show me…you know that I…'_

They reached out, fingers splaying lightly against Anna's bare skin. He felt the cold of her skin, the iciness battling away the warmth of his touch.

Her head jerked.

'…_love you…'_

Yoh's mouth opened as he saw her eyes snap up, saw her lips moving.

"_Anna, I-"_

--

"_Yoh, I-"_

"_Anna, I-"_

They stopped, faces flushed in embarrassment. Suddenly the temperature in the room had skyrocketed, leaving the two red-faced.

"_You go first."_ They said, their voices merging as one. There was silence for a moment and then Anna took initiative, her eyes darting back and forth and then finally coming to rest on Yoh.

Anna licked her lips, her voice suddenly lost. She tried to speak, tired to make her lips move. She could feel the lump in her throat and her mind grasped at what to say.

"_Yoh…I…I finally realize…everything you've done for me…I…"_

She slipped her hand into Yoh's, reveling in the warmth of touch, the roughness of his fingers against her smooth skin.

"_Yoh…I…I love you…I always have…and I've always been so…I…"_

She was silenced when Yoh placed a finger to her lips. She blushed, the contact between them unusual. Yoh's voice broke through, rough and choked with emotion.

"_Shhh…I know…I…I've always tried to express myself, always tried to let you know…always tried to get you to open up…"_

Yoh took a deep breath, his hands shaking, fingers curled lightly around Anna's.

"_I only try to love you Anna…try to please you…that's all I've ever wanted to do."_

She was standing now, her blonde hair waving slightly in the light breeze. Her fingers arched tightly around Yoh's, preventing his hand from escaping.

"_Well Yoh…I can think of one way you can please me…"_

He stopped, rigid in her grasp. Her demeanor had changed. The shy, nervous Anna from a few moments ago had disappeared. There was a mischievous sparkle in her eyes and Yoh noticed how close they were, noticed how close their bodies were. The hot breath on his face, the warmth between them…her lips…her touch…her scent…

Her hand snaked forward, curling to the back of his head and she applied gentle pressure, pulling him toward her. He stopped and she leaned forward, her body coming to rest against his. Her hand left Yoh's and pressed against his chest. He watched her pink tongue dart out, licking her lips. Closer. Their noses were touching.

"_Thanks Yoh…for everything."_

Their lips met.

Kiss.

--

-Fin-

--


End file.
